Friday Fun

I thought I was too tired to even laugh, but then I read today's Rude Pundit, and, well, you must go see for yourself. The utter bland soullessness of Fran DeWine's Family Favorites has to be witnessed. And lest you start getting on me for my east coast elitism, I'll just quote his Rudeness preemptively.

Take, for instance, her recipe for Amish Barn Soup. It's a rich combination of Velveeta cubes, chicken bouillon cubes, and frozen broccoli (presumably not cubed) cooked together to create a concoction so salty that it'd make real Amish people beat down tourists, steal their cars, and race to the local liquor store for twelve-packs of Schaefer's they can down to get the vile taste out of their mouths.

Or there's My Favorite Lasagna, a piquant casserole made with Prego or Ragu (mixed with water, because jarred Prego is just too rich) and cottage cheese (because...why? ricotta's too hard to pronounce?), the sort of thing that's served in the trattorias in Hell alongside platters of rat innards on bruschetta.

You may whine and complain and say, "Jesus, Rude Pundit, beating up on Mike Dewine's wife is sure unfair." And, after slapping you with overboiled lasagna noodles, the Rude Pundit would point out that once her "Family Favorites Cookbook" was posted, well, welcome to the party, motherfucker.